Month: December 2012

One in a million

The one trick pony; year after year it offers nothing more than offer a new colours or cuts. You know you want it; price is not a problem, neither is rationality. You’ll be a sheep, but you’ll be accepted; why? Because that is the one real product guarantee. This could be you and your product of choice or it could not; buy something different, something with real parity and potential. Imagine how much more fun it would be, being the wolf in sheep’s clothing; you’ll be free of all that false hope and self loathing. All it takes is an iron will and a credit card.

A night to remember

There’s a tent. A tent of wonder, actually no, of wondersome. Sitting in a quiet corner of a park, at the end of a trail of lights. Inside this tent sits a box, one that is big and is red. What’s inside? Nobody knows. One by one, hipsters will arrive. They’ve been waiting for this ever since they ditched the mainstream maelstrom. Tonight is when the mystery of their pop culture subversion is revealed. Tonight is when they finally discover that something new that they’ve been searching for.

Subversive

To whom it may concern,

I am your subconscious and I am writing to you on behalf of, well, you. As the discrete back seat driver of your every action, I have had the pleasure of supervising and controlling you over the course of many years now.

In my time subverting your daily dealings, you have shown a surprising degree of independence, intuition and intelligence, all of which has made my job all the more challenging.  Even when you have displayed a willingness to tackle new tasks, my best efforts to trick you haven’t caused you to shy away from the challenge at hand – something that has become increasingly frustrating.

I recommend without reservation that you learn to listen to me, I can assure you that you might have a little fun now and again, even when I act as a form of restraint.

I can be reached any time via a bottle of vodka.

Kinds regards,

Celebrity Sell Outs

Easy selling 101: Use a Celebrity. Everything they touch turns to marketing gold, whether it is a bottle of mineral water or a Tag Hauer watch.

We’ve all seen more than our fair share of celebrity endorsements – Hugh Jackman for Lipton, Nicole Kidman for Chanel, Leyton Hewitt for Quiltex. While this can work wonders for some brands, for others it can cause nothing but controversy – whether it’s because of the choice itself or because of mistakes made by the supposedly glamorous brand advocate.

This year has seen some interesting cases of where it has and hasn’t worked out:

Doubling Down

Every fast food chain is trying to become your artery clogger of choice over the summer break. Maccas has their 50s inspired summer campaign full of hip music and surf scenes and KFC for some strange reason has the Madden brothers (of Good Charlotte and reality TV fame) asking Aussies to tell them how to have a good time.

As it turns out, these two fine American born and bred ‘gentlemen’ have been major opponents of KFC back in their native land of the free. The social media world exploded with excitement over the absurd level of hypocrisy on their part and the utter ignorance of KFC for never realising who they had chosen to spruik their brand.

Despite this controversy, the TV ads and billboards featuring our two tattooed friends are still everywhere, encouraging us all to indulge in some greasy good times. This willingness to stick with the Madden brothers is more than likely tied into the fact that their fans and lovers of KFC really don’t care about the hypocrisy or the likelihood of heart attacks.

Shock Jocks

2012 has been the year that taught brands throughout Australia to steer clear of using radio personalities as advocates. First there was Kyle Sandilands his rather derogatory remarks about a female journalist – a slip of his forked tongue which ended up eroding the credibility of his station (2DayFm/Austereo) as well as undercutting their otherwise lucrative sponsorship deals.

This debacle was followed up by the king of radio spin himself, Alan Jones, aiming his trademark vitriol at our lady PM – causing brands ranging from Coles to Mercedes Benz to run for the hills, hoping to escape the damage his idiocy might cause to their image. In this case the boycott by brands lasted longer, particularly due to the high degree of consumer backlash via social media.

And lastly and most tragically, 2DayFM made a repeat appearance in the headlines for incidentally playing part in the suicide of a British Nurse. What was meant to be an otherwise harmless prank call ended up turning into global media frenzy, vilifying the radio presenters and station – giving associated brands every reason to flee.

In all three instances, the advertisers have been willing to come crawling back so long as the ‘guilty’ parties have been superficially conciliatory enough in front of the media. For Sandilands and Jones, the audiences came back and sponsor brands were happy. As for the latest debacle, only time will tell.

In the Pitts

Here we have a tale of two brothers, one named Brad, the named Doug. The world-famous, handsome one of the two cannot spruik a brand to save his life, while the otherwise plain and boring one turned out to be one of the best brand advocates of the year.

For the former, Chanel No5 decided to break away from tradition make Brad Pitt their first ever male spokesperson. Unfortunately for them the gamble did not pay off – Brad’s attempt at deep and meaningful prose turned out to be one of the worst ads in the brand’s history. In the long term this means little for one of the world’s most prestigious brands, with them more than likely to go full steam ahead as if all was normal.  In terms of the latter, the unfortunately named Doug Pitt became the face of Virgin Mobile, talking about how you don’t need to be a star (his brother) in order to get great deals. This campaign has been lauded for its ingenuity and earned Virgin free press all over the world.

The Strange and the Wonderful

So far we’ve generally spoken of how brands need to be wary of who they choose – seeing as the results can so often be detrimental to their short term sales and image. But the world of celebrity endorsements and glamorous brand advocates isn’t all doom and gloom. As with the Doug Pitt example before, there are some truly inspired instances of using a known face to push your brand, whether it simply caused confusion or hilarity – it worked.

In the past year we had classics such as:

If there is a lesson to be learned from any of this it’s that you need to choose your brand advocates wisely. Whether you go with radio presenters, Joe Average or a so-called celebrity, make sure they match your brand and their regular behaviour is relatively risk free.

Or, there’s always…

A Merry Marketable Christmas

If you could choose just one thing to get this Christmas what would it be? What if the choice was between a memorable day with those most important to you or a brand new iPad mini? Admit it – you would say the former while secretly coveting the latter. Don’t be ashamed, it’s entirely normal.

For the optimist in all of us, Christmas is about friends, family, food and love. For the inner cynic it’s a case of hellish shopping excursions, potential alcohol poisoning and 5 extra kg around the waist line. As the years have rolled on this global outpouring of happiness has been warped, slowly but surely causing it to lose its meaning.

Which is why I thought to ask the obvious – what is Christmas in 2012? Is it a commercialised sham like Valentines or is it the only ‘religious’ tradition accepted the world over?

By definition (and tradition) Christmas is (technically) the annual Christian celebration of the birth of Jesus. Despite this standard definition, this one occasion is celebrated around the globe with or without any sort of overarching religious connotations. Why? Because of that choice we put forward at the start. We all celebrate this one occasion because we as a society love a good reason to shop, to buy and to receive.

Though the way in which most of celebrate the occasion has next to nothing to do with any sort of religious belief – the tree, the holy, the feasts and the gifts are all elements borrowed from a wide assortment of traditional celebrations from around the world.

As the world has started to unite via years of migration and increasing virtual connectivity, the religious angle of the occasion has been subdued. In this era of political correctness we would much rather ignore the original driving force behind the tradition and embrace spiritually neutral and utterly inoffensive consumerism.

The shopping aspect is part and parcel of the tradition, dating back to the silly season origins in quite a few (predominately European) cultures – though it was more about giving gifts than mass commercial trade. These days shopping districts become mob scenes by the time we hit mid-November, with every man, woman and child in a 30km radius fighting tooth and nail for any viable bargain they can get their grubby mitts on – all in the hopes of being the favourite friend or loved one of the happy recipient.

There are those who decry the ‘over-commercialisation’ of what is an otherwise joyous celebration of love and togetherness. But really, can any of us remember a time when Christmas was not a reason to buy? The marketing tradition behind the occasion can even be seen in the long standing myth that Santa’s iconic red and white garb was the result of a Coca Cola campaign many decades ago.

This is a season that fuels retailers, advertisers, photographers, grocers, tree farms, charities, and the entertainment industry. No other occasion throughout the entire year plays as big a role in fuelling both the domestic and global economy.

In an age where Apple is as much if not more of a religion than the one you were raised to believe, it seems suiting to accept the redefinition of Christmas as an annual celebration of our consumer culture. It really is the safest and least offensive way for us to unite at this time of year – consumerism knows no race or religion, it crosses borders and it unites people under brands and taglines.

I’m not saying you should forgo family and tradition, these are the things that keep us human and sane (sort of) – I’m just pointing out that Christmas as it is now is nothing to complain about. Don’t be ashamed of wanting a great gift – or three – so long as you give as good as you get. Buy gifts, food, and alcohol and make the most of yet another Merry Marketable Christmas season.